


I Hate Goodbyes

by gabrielxreader



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Mild Gore, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:57:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabrielxreader/pseuds/gabrielxreader
Summary: Request: Can you do one where when reader is 14 she sells her soul to Crowley so her friend doesn't die and he gives her 15 years instead of 10. And it's 15 years later and she's married to Gabriel and lives at the bunker and she's being really nice and sweet to everyone because the 15 year mark is coming up. Then on midnight Gabriel, Sam, Dean and Cas witness the reader get killed by hell hounds?Warnings: Death of Reader, Mild Gore, Language, Lots of Sadness





	1. Chapter 1

Monotone beeps went off like clockwork as you sat next to the clean white bed. Your best friend’s decaying body was hooked up to various machines that were giving her life. A life that you knew she wouldn’t want, but you weren’t family even though you paid more attention to her then her parents did. Your only friend in the world got hit by a drunk driver and now she wouldn’t wake up.  
There were rumors and stories of ways to make a deal. Find a crossroads, cut your picture out and summon a demon. There was one near you, which was where you were headed at this time of night.  
You stopped short of the connecting roads and slowly walked to the center. The cold night air nipped at any exposed skin, making you shiver. You kneeled down on the gravel and found the old buried box with past pictures of other dealmakers. Your image joined them as you covered the box back up.  
“Hello darling.” A scottish voice echoed from the dark. You turned to find a well dressed man in all black giving you a once over. “Pretty young to make any deal, huh?”  
“I need you to save my friend.”   
He took his time to answer, circling around you like a vulture. “Tell you what…” He paused in front of you. “...you’ve caught me in a good mood and I just love self sacrificing stories. Fifteen years rather than the standard ten.”  
“Whatever, just save my friend. I don’t care.” You pleaded.  
He let out a sigh, but smiled at you. “They all say that, but they at the end they think different.” He paused then stepped forward, invading your personal space. “Quick kiss on the lips and your friend will be good as new.”  
“That’s it?”  
“Well...then I’ll see you in fifteen years.”  
“Fine.” You leaned towards him with your lips puckered.  
“Eager one.” He chuckled as he pressed his lips against yours.  
When you opened your eyes again he was gone, so you headed back to the hospital to see your friend.

“Come on Dean. This movie again?” Sam whined from his spot in the entertainment room.  
“It’s a classic.” Dean argued, stuffing more popcorn into his mouth.   
“(Y/N)?” Sam turned his hazel eyes over to you for some support.  
“What can I say? It’s Dean’s night to pick.” You shrugged.  
“Cheer up Sasquatch.” Your husband, Gabriel, smirked as he sat down next to you on the couch.   
“It’s not that bad of a movie.” Dean grunted.  
“Dean, we’ve seen it a hundred times.”   
“Could always zap you into the movie.” Gabriel suggested, earning some bitch-faces from the brothers.  
“Come on guys, just shut up and watch the movie. Tomorrow Sam can pick.” You proposed.  
“Fine.”   
With that settled you leaned into Gabriel’s side, stretching out your feet on the couch. Castiel appeared back in the room as the movie started with a fresh bag of popcorn. Sam and Dean were each in their own respected chairs as Cas made himself comfortable on the floor.  
While the boys continued to watch the movie, you thought back to the calendar date and how it was almost time. It had been fifteen years since you had gotten your friend back and it had been worth it. She had a family of her own now with a perfect husband, living the life she wouldn’t have had if not for you.  
However, even though she got to live a wonderful life, your life was about to be cut short. You tried to do everything to make it easier for everyone else. That morning you had untangled yourself from Gabriel and went into the kitchen to prepare a breakfast feast. Hashbrowns, bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes filled up the table. Dean even woke up early to eat, which said a lot.   
In the afternoon you baked Dean three pies after you helped Sam with some research. You were slightly surprised that no one questioned your actions, but you used a simple excuse that seemed to work.   
You wanted their day to be filled with happy memories because at midnight the nightmare would begin. Part of you guessed at how they each would take your death. Dean would blame himself and open up that whiskey bottle under his bed that he thought no one knew about. Sam would find solitude in research in trying to find a way to bring you back. Castiel would help with anything he could, but he was also realistic with certain things. And then there was your dear husband, the archangel Gabriel. He would be a mess, no doubt. After all you had been through together, nothing could prepare him to lose the love of his life.  
Perhaps he could find peace in the memories of your dates together. How you went out for ice cream at a local place, which somehow ended you up in Italy with gelato dripping down each other’s face. Or the romantic dinner that ended with rose petals scattered over the fancy hotel floor.  
You hoped he didn’t forget your face when he proposed to you in Tokyo under a cherry blossom tree with the flowers in bloom. Some of the fallen petals had gotten into both of your hair, but neither of you minded as you were too focused on the opened red box with a beautiful cut diamond. Your mind hadn’t fully comprehended what he was saying, but that didn’t stop the ‘yes’ from slipping between your lips.   
However, the proposal was nothing compared to the wedding. If there is one thing Gabriel knows it is how to be romantic. Your favorite flowers were stuck everywhere with ribbon and crystals to create a heavenly atmosphere. At the reception there were three chocolate fountains to accent your towering wedding cake. Never had you been more happy or impressed with Gabriel.  
All of those memories made it harder when you stood up and left to get snacks. Although in truth you weren’t headed to the kitchen. No, you steered your path and headed up the stairs to leave the bunker.   
Silver stars were your only companying as your feet carried you further away from the front door. In the distant a few howls erupted, knowing it would be soon. You had to plan it right otherwise they would know and try and stop it, but there was nothing to do. The past fifteen years had been all you could’ve asked for and now it was time to pay for it.

“What’s taking (Y/N) so long?” Sam glanced back at your empty spot.  
“Women.” Dean simply answered with a smile.  
“I’ll check. Need more candy anyways.” Gabriel stood up and left with the sound of his wings.  
“Don’t do it in the kitchen. We eat in there!” Dean hollered.  
Gabriel was back in a minute with a worried expression. “Not in the kitchen or bathroom.”  
“Bedroom?” Dean cheekily asked.  
“No.” Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the elder Winchester.   
“Well, come on.” Dean paused the movie. “If I find her naked, you can’t yell at me.”   
“Dean.” Sam warned.   
“Know them two….bound to happen again sometime.”  
“Shut up.” 

The bunker door open from behind you, but it was too late. The hellhounds were charging at you as you stood in the middle of the gravel road. Their claws sank into your flesh, ripping at it, letting blood ooze out. Tears cascaded from your eyes as teeth scraped over your throat as your laid on the hard ground.  
“(Y/N)!” Your husband called as multiple footsteps thundered towards you. Two blinding flashes of light surrounded you as the hellhounds were fought off. Sam and Dean dragged your body towards the bunker door as Castiel fiend the hellhounds off. They stopped a short of the door as more hellhounds attacked from the sides.  
“(Y/N)!” Gabriel was at your side. “Why didn’t you say something?”  
You swallowed hard, trying to find your voice. “I…..I’m sorry, but I...I hate goodbyes.” You could feel blood seeping into your lungs as it became harder to breath.  
Tears began to stain his face as he held your broken body. “Don’t go. I love you. I can’t lose you! (Y/N)!”  
But it was too late, the light faded from your eyes and the noise of battle around you came to an end. Darkness blinded you as a distant howl sounded for one last time. The last little blur you saw was of Gabriel and with that you smiled.


	2. Hello Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: I love your writing so much and could you possibly do a part 2 to I hate goodbyes if not it's okay ily xoxo  
> Warnings: gross/violent-ish, fluff, argument, sad

A low drawn out whistle echoed through the deep chambers of Hell with the click of shoes coming closer to your cell. The stone walls and floors provided no warmth as you sat in the corner chained up. Pain still spread through your body as your skin slowly healed itself. Slash marks were silently sewed back up and broken bones cracking back into place. Running your fingers through your hair to smooth it back only reminded you of the missing patches that were pulled out earlier.   
“Was wondering how long it would take.” You snapped your attention to the footsteps closing in on your cell. “Crowley.”   
He stood in front of your cell, peering into your small space. “Comfy, pet?”  
“Always.” You sneered.  
He let out a huff of annoyance. “I don’t understand. What else did you expect when you made the deal? This is Hell, (Y/N).” Crowley extended his arms to either side as trying to prove his point.   
“Well, sixty years changes a person.”   
“Only six months up top.” He opens his mouth to add something, but instead snaps his fingers and opens your cell door. You back up into your corner, frightened at what the King will do, but you try to have a hard confident expression. “Not here to hurt you, pet.” He pauses halfway into the space, putting his hands into his pockets.   
“I find that hard to believe.”  
“Perhaps you’ll believe this.” Crowley lets out a sigh. You took notice at how tired he looked and how his suit wasn’t pressed to perfection. “Your husband has been causing all sorts of trouble since your death. Bloody angel went on a rampage killing all my best demons. Even Juliet didn’t survive his wrath.” He shifted, staring down at the floor.  
You blinked a few times. “I’m sorry?”  
Crowley’s eyes shot up, glaring at you. “You should be! Juliet was a loyal girl! She didn’t deserve what she got!”  
“How is this my fault? You had to figure this would happen.” Your legs wobbled underneath you as you slowly stood up, using the wall to balance yourself. “Even I knew Gabriel wouldn’t just move on!” Crowley looked down defeated and then the realization hit you. “You can’t be serious. You’re hiding in Hell, aren’t you? Afraid Gabriel will kill you, huh? What do you expect me to do about it?” You can’t help but laugh at his cowardness.  
“I expected to get a nice soul to torture and then have it turn into a demon. Obviously I got the wrong end here!” His voice boomed in the cell. “But I can’t have this go on anymore.” Crowley approached you.  
“Wait! What are you doing? Wait!” You used your hands to block him, but they failed as you had no strength.   
Crowley rested a hand on your shoulder, patting you softly. “I’m not a fool, pet.”  
Then with a snap your body went limp, but instead of falling down you felt a pull upward. 

You gasped awake finding yourself in a smaller space than your cell, but instead of cold stone it was wood. Your nail scraped against the surface in the darkness, feeling around for any opening. Than using any energy you had left, you pushed up against the wood. Some dirt fell into your coffin as the top popped off. Apparently someone was smart enough not to put you six feet under and make you crawl out all the way. Instead you were about six inches under, hidden by a massive tree behind the bunker.  
The gray building towered over you as you crawled out, shaking from the frigid air. After some effort you managed to right yourself up and walk towards the entrance. You smiled at the thought of your boys in the library, but that quickly disappeared with what Crowley had told you.  
Gabriel was off on a rampage since your death and it went so far that Crowley had no choice but to send you back up here. You knew Gabriel was capable of many things like giving justice to those who needed it, but you could only guess as to how far the archangel went.   
Then there was Sam and Dean. They’d probably both be drunk with red eyes, hunched over books for days. And poor Cas would try to fix as much as he could while you were gone. He would be the only one left who would be level-headed to make rational decisions.  
This wasn’t what you wanted, to break the ones you loved. It started as saving a friend, but ended up with more deaths and nothing but sorrows. You bit back tears as you eased the door open, finding that the library was empty at the moment.  
It certainly had changed though in the six months that you were dead. The tables were hidden under piles of books and ancient papers that spilled over onto the floor. Beer bottles were placed on every flat surface with some shattered glass mixed with dried up stains on the floor. A giant hole took up part of the wall with cracks spreading out like veins. Strong odors came from open pizza boxes with rotten pieces left over.  
Your hand covered your mouth as salty tears ran down your face. You stepped back slowly, trying to find something to hold onto. A crack caught your attention as you looked down to find a broken picture frame. Picking it up you found that it was one of your favorite pictures. The boys surrounded you in the picture with Gabriel’s homemade cake in front of you. Gabriel made Sam and Dean wear the funny birthday hats, while you, yourself had a crown. It was one of your most fond memories because it was the first real birthday you had in a long time.   
A sob erupted from you and the picture drifted in the air, taking its time before landing on the ground again. You clutched your chest, slumping to the floor as more sobs shook your body. Although you figured you must’ve been dehydrated, tears still poured out.   
“I did this.” Your voice shuttered. “I did this to them.”  
You stayed like that for a while, crying on the ground. It wasn’t until your stomach growled that you figured you should get something to eat. There wasn’t much to choose from, so you ate quickly before exploring the bunker.   
The boys were gone. All of them and they were packed well with weapons and gear, so you made your way back to the library. The destruction only made more tears come back and you decided to try and fix it. Throwing away the awful food and beer bottles was the easy part. Then came sweeping up the shattered glass and cleaning the stains. You weren’t sure how long you worked, but you figured you had a while to go.  
A little while later a flutter of wings diverted your attention from the messy papers and books. Castiel stood near the bookshelf with his head tilt to the side, staring at you. You would’ve ran towards him and hugged him, but he’d probably mistake it for you trying to hurt him or something.  
“(Y/N)?” His low voice sounded surprised.  
“I know what you’re thinking. It’s me, Cas. All me. I promise.”  
“How?” His sapphire eyes squinted at you.  
“Crowley. Guess my husband was too much for him.” You tried to joke, but the seriousness in Cas’s eyes stopped you. “How is he? I mean where is he?”  
“Perhaps you should sit down.” He motioned to the table, sitting next to you. Silence followed as Cas tried to find the right words, you covered his hand with yours. “I’m glad you’re back.” A smile graced his face as he looked up at you.  
“Me too. Please.” You pleaded. “Crowley told me part of it, but….Gabriel…”  
“Gabriel has been around the world looking for any way to help you get out of Hell. He even tried to get to Hades, but that failed.” Cas let out a sigh that he seemed to be holding back for a long time. “My brother has nearly gone insane.”  
“I’m sorry...for all of this. It’s my-”  
Cas’s gruff voice cut you off. “Don’t. We’ve all made mistakes. That is the past.” More silence followed before he stood up. “You should talk to Gabriel. He needs you back. We all needed you back.” You give a small nod, giving him a tight hug as you stood next to him. “I should probably tell the Winchesters….they’re currently tracking some witches to find a way to bring you back.” You cracked a small smile at the idea of them begging some witches to help even though they hated them. “Goodbye for now.”   
As soon as Cas left you looked upward at the ceiling, sending a dozen prayers to your husband. It didn’t take long for him to respond as the lights flickered with some blowing out at the energy. You gripped the table as the ground shook with books falling from their shelves. A loud buzzing noise filled the space forcing you to shield your ears from the sound.  
The commotion only lasted for a minute as you scanned the room meeting whiskey eyes. They were glazed over with golden hair falling onto his pale face. His dark circled eyes took in every inch of you, darting around your body. His slumped stance made him appear shorter and broken.  
“Gabriel.” You strided forward with a hand outstretched. “Honey, it’s me.”  
“It can’t be.” His voice cracked.  
“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t…..I didn’t want….I’m sorry.” You cried, cupping his face with your hands. At your touch he flinched away, taking a couple steps back. “Please, Gabriel.” You pleaded, trying to close the space between the two of you.  
“No.” You stopped. “You should’ve told me. I could’ve done something!” He shouted with clenched fists.  
“It was so long ago...I saved my friend.” Tears flowed freely down your face now. “I got fifteen years instead of ten.”  
“You still went to Hell!” A light bulb exploded overhead.  
“I couldn’t let her die! I didn’t know that all of this would happen. That I would meet Sam and Dean….Cas…...you. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew what would happen! You can’t break a deal unless someone dies and I couldn’t have that happen!” Your voice grew stronger and louder with each word.   
Gabriel threw a fist onto the table, breaking it. “I loved you and you left me!”  
“You don’t think it was hard for me?!”  
“Like this wasn’t?! You’re my wife, (Y/N)! Out of all the humans in time and space I wanted you….and you left me.” The redness drained from his face as he slumped into a chair. “I loved you….I still love you. I’d do anything babe.” Gabriel murmured. “I can’t live without you.”  
“But I’m back now.” You kneeled down next to him, taking his hand in yours. Thankfully he let you take hold, but his eyes didn’t look at you. “I’m back and I’m not going anywhere. Please look at me, babe. I missed you. Sixty years down there….you’re the reason I kept my sanity.”  
“I lost mine without you.” You leaned upward as he turned his head to face you. “I love you.” His dried out lips grazed over yours as he picked you up to sit on his lap. Your arms locked around his neck, keeping his warm touch close. “I love you.” His fingers trailed along your exposed skin, sending shivers through your body. “I love you.” Your foreheads rested against one another as his lips moved along your jawline.  
“I love you.” You whispered back as your nose bumped against his. “I’m sorry.”  
“You’re here now.” Gabriel’s grip tightened on your waist. “No more deals.”  
“Never. I have everything I need now.” You breathed before capturing his lips in a breathtaking kiss.


End file.
